(I work in security at a huge outlet mall. Occasionally, shoppers can’t find their car and we drive them around looking for it.)

Customer: “It seems my car was stolen. It definitely isn’t where I parked it.”

Me: “Okay, let’s drive around and just make sure it isn’t here.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I was here a year ago and it got stolen then, also!”

(We drive around the lots and all of a sudden she starts yelling.)

Customer: “Oh my god I don’t believe it! It’s here!

Me: “That’s your car?”

Customer: “No! I mean yes! That’s my car from last year. That’s right, that IS where I parked it!”