(The fire alarm is going off at our extended-stay hotel. I get a call at the front desk.)

Hotel Guest: ”What is that sound?”

Me: ”That’s the fire alarm ma’am, please evacuate the building.”

Hotel Guest: “Well, can you please turn it off? My son is sleeping.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. Only the Fire Department can, once they inspect the building. Please take your son and evacuate the building immediately.”

Hotel Guest: ”I can’t do that, he’s sleeping!”

Me: *bangs head on the counter*