(One of the kids at my martial arts camp has gotten so bad that I have to call to his mother.)

Me: “Ma’am, your son has not been paying attention during training, and is disrupting the other kids.”

Mother: “Well, maybe my son needs a male influence instead of a little girl!”

Me: “The kids are arranged according to proficiency level. We can’t move him.”

Mother: “That’s funny…you say you can’t control him, but you can threaten to throw him down a flight of stairs easily enough!”

Me: “Who told you I threatened to throw him down a flight of stairs?”

Mother: “He did! He said you threatened to throw him down the stairs!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a one-story building.”

*brief pause*

Mother: “I will talk to him tonight.”