Can Also Upgrade To A Divorce

(My boyfriend and I have a couple of friends over for dinner, and he is pouring water out of our Brita pitcher for our guests.)

Boyfriend: “You know, I have the most amazing tool that always keeps my Brita filled. It’s the most amazing thing! Ever since I got one, I haven’t had to fill this thing once!”

Me: “Is that tool called… a ‘girlfriend’?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah!” *still speaking to our friends* “I heard there’s an upgrade that cleans out the cat box, too.”

Me: “Yeah, a wife.”