Traffic Excuses Are A Two Way Street

(In the town where I work, there is heavy construction at one of the big intersections. This has caused several of us to be late; we come in staggered bunches as traffic allows. A newly hired manager, who’s been having trouble adjusting to our office’s normal semi-casual, relaxed environment, is literally standing at the front doors berating people.)

Manager: “Why is everyone just strolling in so late today!? It’s Friday, not lazy-day!”

Me: “Sorry, there was construction up the road, and we all got caught up in it.”

Manager: “Well, you should have planned ahead for that.”

Coworker #1: “We usually do because they post up signs, but this one didn’t have any advance warnings.”

Manager: “That doesn’t matter; you should have planned ahead!”

Coworker #2: “With what, my crystal ball? Or is there a company-approved tarot deck I should use?”

Manager: “Don’t get snippy with me; just because you all don’t know how to plan ahead!”

(My manager’s boss—one of the vice-presidents—comes walking around the corner.)

Vice-President: “Hey, [Manager], what are you doing?”

Manager: “Making sure these slackers know they can’t be showing up late all the time!”

Vice-President: “Weren’t you late this morning?”

Manager: “Well that wasn’t my fault; there was traffic!”