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    Totally Plastered

    | Toronto, ON, Canada |

    Me: “Alright, your cast is on nice and secure. It should heal within four to six weeks.”

    Patient: “Really? Only four to six minutes?”

    Me: “No, four to six weeks.”

    Patient: “Okay, four to six minutes.”

    Me: “Sir, it’s impossible for it to heal within four to six minutes. It takes about four to six weeks.”

    Patient: “Oh, all right.”

    (I turn around to fill out his form. When I turn back around, he has taken off his cast.)

    Me: “Sir, why did you take off your cast?!”

    Patient: “Well, you said it heals within four to six minutes, but you said it was too short, so I waited seven minutes…but it still hurts.”

    Me: “Sir, your arm is still broken. Four to six weeks is around a month and a half.”

    Patient: “Well, why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?! A month and a half is five weeks! Why did you say four to six minutes?”

    Me: “I never said…” *I pause and compose myself* “…okay, nevermind. Let’s put on a new cast.”

    Patient: “Oooh! Can I have a pink one?”