Super Debase

(There aren’t enough substitutes in the building this day, so I’m covering a Spanish class. A student has been chatting with the two girls next to him since the start of the period instead of doing his work quietly like the rest of the class.)

Me: “[Student], stop flirting with the girls and go back to work.”

Student: “I’m working!”

Me: “You haven’t even started the worksheet. If you can’t keep from distracting the people around you, I’ll have to break up this little ménage à trois.”

(The class chuckles. Several minutes of silence, then some more whispers.)

Student: “Miss [My Name]? What’s a ménage à trois?”

Me: “Um… never mind.”

Student: “But what is it?”

Me: *circumventing the issue* “It’s French. This is Spanish class.”

Student: “But what does it mean?”

Me: “Trois” means “three”. Just go back to work.

(More whispering.)

Student: “Is i anything like Nicki Minaj?”

Me: “… No.”

(More whispering.)

Me: “[Student], please stop talking.”

Student: “What’s a Nicki Minaj à trois? Nobody will tell me!”