To Conjugate A Thief

(Although I don’t look like it, I am fluent in Japanese and Korean. I am working at a register, checking out a Japanese family who are buying snacks.)

Father: *in Japanese* “Son, when the cashier isn’t looking, put the candy bars in your pockets so we don’t have to pay for them.”

(Hearing this, I add the candy bars to the purchase. The family pays and leaves. Two minutes later, the father returns.)

Father: “Why did you charge me for four candy bars?! I didn’t buy any candy bars! You just charged me to make extra money! I want to see your manager!”

Me: *in Japanese* “Maybe you should come up with your plans to steal 89-cent candy bars BEFORE you come up to the register.”

(The father was stunned. He apologized and left embarrassed.)