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    Time To Close The Books On This One

    | Livingston, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bookstore]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, yes, I’m trying to reach your store in Short Hills but no one will answer the phone.”

    Me: “Oh… well, the location in Short Hills actually closed three years ago.”

    Caller: “No, I don’t think you know what I’m talking about. I mean the one in the mall.”

    Me: “Yes, that was our only location in Short Hills. It closed because the mall wanted to jack up the rent.”

    Caller: “That’s ridiculous! I go to that store all the time. The number I have isn’t working and I can’t find it listed anywhere, so I need you to give me the phone number.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry to tell you this, but the number isn’t working because that store no longer exists. You can’t find it listed for the same reason.”

    Caller: “I was there last week!”

    Me: “I… don’t think that’s possible. There isn’t even a bookstore in that mall anymore.”

    Caller: “Oh, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Get me the number or get me someone else who can!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I actually used to work at that location. It closed down, so I transferred to this store three years ago. Is there something I can help you find, other than the number for the Short Hills store?”

    Caller: “You know, the employees at the Short Hills store are going to be VERY upset that you’re saying this about them! I’m going to drive over there right now and tell them all about this!”

    (One hour later, my coworker answers the phone.)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling—”

    Caller: “WHY IS THERE A CLOTHING STORE WHERE YOUR SHORT HILLS STORE USED TO BE?!”