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    Time To Break Out The Tin Foil Hats

    | Ontario, Canada |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [cable company]. My name is ***, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m being hunted by the FBI.”

    Me: “Sorry to hear about that…is there something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “The problem is, my cable TV is fine but no internet. The lights on the modem aren’t solid.”

    (As we go through all the normal steps, I hear the sounds of cars passing by and honking in the background.)

    Me: “Um, where are you?”

    Customer: “Oh, on the pole.”

    Me: “The…telephone pole?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’ve stripped the wire going to the house and stuck it directly in the modem. It still doesn’t work.”

    Me: “How are you powering your modem then?”

    Customer: “Oh, I have about 3-4 extension cords coming from my house. You know that it’s easier for the government to track what you watch on TV then what you do on the internet? I think I will cancel my cable TV.”

    Me: “Is that what you want to do? I can get a tech for you tomorrow morning if you want.”

    Customer: “Nah, just send me to billing.”

    Related: Tin Foil Hats (Wikipedia)