Those Who Dare, Teach

(I’m teaching a very rough year 11 class. One of my most horrible students gets up from his work and starts opening the drawers of my desk.)

Me: “[Student], sit back down.”

Student: “No. You can’t make me do anything.”

Me: *waving a meterstick in a mock-threatening manner* “[Student], don’t touch my desk. Sit down now.”

Student: “Go on, Miss. I dare you.”

(He sticks his hand in the drawer containing my wallet, phone, and the treats I use as rewards.)

Me: “You got it.”

(I bring the meterstick down on his knuckles, hard as I can. It’s a perfect shot, and his hand immediately starts to swell. I panic, thinking I’m about to get fired.)

Other Kids: “Don’t worry, miss. We heard him dare you.”

Student: *cradling his hand, head down, returns silently to seat*

(Later, in the staff room at lunch:)

Head Of Year: “I heard you whacked [Student] today! Obviously, you shouldn’t do that, but that’s brilliant! I’ve been wanting to do that for years!”