This We’ll Defend

(I’m a female and I’m waiting for my girlfriend to get off work, and the person who was supposed to relieve her is running late, so I’m hanging around. My girlfriend is a hair under five feet tall, and maybe ninety pounds. She’s really little, and people try and intimidate her a lot because of this.)

My Girlfriend: “I’m sorry. It should be like half an hour.”

Me: “No problem.”

(A customer shoulders past me and shoves an item in my girlfriend’s face.)

Male Customer: “This place f***ing ripped me off!”

My Girlfriend: “What’s the problem, sir?”

Male Customer: “Don’t play with me, you stupid b****! I bought this and it won’t work!”

My Girlfriend: “Sir, may I see the item?”

Male Customer: *shoves it at her*

My Girlfriend: “Sir, this didn’t come from our store.”

Male Customer: “You callin’ me a liar, you stupid b****?!”

My Girlfriend: “Of course not, but this package has a label that clearly has the name of our competitor on it.”

Male Customer: “So, I bought it here!”

My Girlfriend: “I’m sorry, sir, but no, you didn’t.”

(At this point, another customer, who is a fairly petite woman, is standing behind him. She looks a little concerned. Without warning, the male customer takes a swing at my girlfriend.)

Male Customer: “You stupid c***! Do your d*** job and give me a f***ing refund!”

(Thankfully my girlfriend steps out of reach of the customer’s swing. However, the petite woman behind him suddenly surges forward, and in one swift movement twists his arm behind his back and slams his face down on the counter.)

Petite Woman: *to my girlfriend* “Honey, you may want to call 911.”

My Girlfriend: *stunned* “O-Okay…”

Me: *to the male customer* “Jesus Christ, what the h*** is the matter with you, you freaking psycho?!”

Male Customer: “Get the f*** off me!”

(In response, the petite woman wrenches his arm behind him further. The male customer wails.)

Male Customer: “You can’t do that! You’re just a woman!”

Petite Woman: “Army Strong, a**hole. If you want to walk away with your arm not broken, I’d stop struggling.”

(The male customer stops struggling when he realizes that she isn’t going to let go anytime soon. The police show up in less than five minutes. They get everyone’s statements and view the security video. The manager finally meanders out; he’s a man who is useless in every sense of the word. He also doesn’t like my girlfriend because she’s dating me, a girl.)

My Girlfriend’s Manager: “What is all this about?

Police Officer: “Sir, this man just attempted to attack your employee.”

My Girlfriend’s Manager: “Oh.”

Petite Woman: “That’s all you have to say?” *to my girlfriend* “Honey, you want to press charges?”

My Girlfriend’s Manager: “Oh, that won’t be necessary.”

(The petite woman whirls on my girlfriend’s manager, and he actually takes a step backwards.)

Petite Woman: “I wasn’t talking to you. Believe me when I tell you, your boss will be hearing about what little concern you have for your employees!”

My Girlfriend’s Manager: *slinks off*

(Meanwhile, the police finish arresting the man and explain to my girlfriend how she can press charges.)

Me: *to the petite woman* “Excuse me, Miss?”

Petite Woman: “Yes?”

Me: “Thank you. You defended my girlfriend. So many people wouldn’t have done anything. Would it be alright if I could have your name?”

Petite Woman: *smiles* “You’re welcome. You guys look cute together. And my name is Angel.”

(With that, she leaves without buying anything. Three days later, my girlfriend’s unhelpful manager was fired. An Angel indeed!)