Bear That In Mind

(I am driving with my friend, and we stop at a crosswalk to let a mother and her kids cross.)

Friend: “Bonus points if you can knock ’em all down without spilling the panda.”

Me: “You are a horrible person! She’s a large lady in a black-and-white shirt. You can’t call people pandas!”

Friend: “Uh… [My Name]… look what she’s holding.”

(I look, and see that she is carrying a sack of takeout from a popular Chinese-food chain, featuring a large panda logo.)

Me: “Oh, my God. I’M the horrible person!”

Friend: “Just thank your lucky stars the windows are rolled up.”