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  • This Is What Hell Is Like

    (I had this conversation recently with a lady who swore she had been using computers since forever.)

    Tech Support: “All right. Now click ‘OK’.”

    Customer: “Click ‘OK’?”

    Tech Support: “Yes, click ‘OK’.”

    Customer: “Click ‘OK’?”

    Tech Support: “That’s right. Click ‘OK’.”

    Customer: “So I click ‘OK’, right?”

    Tech Support: “Right. Click ‘OK’.”

    (Pause.)

    Customer: “I clicked ‘Cancel’.”

    Tech Support: “YOU CLICKED ‘CANCEL’???”

    Customer: “That’s what I was supposed to do, right?”

    Tech Support: “No, you were supposed to click ‘OK’.”

    Customer: “I thought you said to click ‘Cancel’.”

    Tech Support: “NO. I said to click ‘OK’.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    Tech Support: “Now we have to start over.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Tech Support: “Because you clicked ‘Cancel’.”

    Customer: “Wasn’t I supposed to click ‘Cancel’?”

    Tech Support: “No. Forget that. Let’s start from the top.”

    Customer: “Ok.”

    (I spend the next fifteen minutes re-constructing the carefully crafted setup for this lady’s unique computer.)

    Tech Support: “All right. Now, are you ready to click ‘OK’?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Tech Support: “Great. Now click ‘OK’.”

    (Pause.)

    Customer: “I clicked ‘Cancel’.”

    (And people wonder why my mouse pad has a target on it labeled “BANG HEAD HERE.”)

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