This Is Not One Of The Better Times

(We’re at one of our favorite bars, chatting with the bartender. My husband has a very dry sense of humor.)

Husband: “Okay, [Bartender], I think we’re ready to close out.”

Bartender: “You’re sure? Would you like a whiskey drink?”

Husband: “No.”

Bartender: “A vodka drink?”

Husband: “No.”

Bartender: “A lager drink?”

Husband: “No.”

Bartender: “A cider drink?”

Husband: *deadpan* “[Bartender], I will jump over this bar…”

Bartender: “That’s from Chumbawamba.”

Husband: “I know.”

Bartender: *as we’re leaving* “I sing songs that remind me of the good times.”