November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

This Is How Democracy Dies

| Farmington, UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Politics

(I work in an election office. It’s the afternoon on Election Day, and we’ve been in a call center since 6 am, telling citizens where their designated polling place is and explaining how closed primaries work. The phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, county elections, how may I help you?”

Citizen: “I’ve been to three different polling places today, and they all say I’m in the wrong place!”

Me: “Can I have your name? I’ll look up your polling place for you.”

(The citizen gives their name.)

Me: “It looks like your polling place is [Elementary School].”

Citizen: “I’ve already been to three other places! How was I supposed to know that’s where my polling place was?”

Me: “Well, we sent you a card a few weeks ago with your polling place on it. It should also be on the voter card that was mailed when you registered to vote at your address.”

Citizen: “I have three kids! I don’t have time to read my mail!”

Me: “In addition, we’ve listed all the polling places in the local paper for the last two weeks, and you could look up your polling place online at [website]. We’ve also had pamphlets at the local library. Or you could have called this number before you went to three different polling places.”

Citizen: “That’s unacceptable! I want someone to come to my house on the morning of election day with a van and say, ‘Mrs. [Name], this is where you vote!'”

Me: “Uh…”

(And that’s how democracy dies.)