This Idiot Hasn’t Got A Leg To Stand On

(A friend of mine, who is a US Marine, has just gotten out of the hospital after rehabilitation. He has a prosthetic leg, and isn’t feeling so great about himself so his girlfriend, some friends and I decide we’re going to take him to his favorite restaurant. We’re waiting to be seated when a stranger, slightly drunk, approaches my friend’s girlfriend.)

Stranger: “Well, hey there, baby!”

My Friend’s Girlfriend: *gives him a look*

Stranger: “Invading the boys’ night, tonight?”

My Friend’s Girlfriend: “No.”

(My friend’s girlfriend sits down next to my friend and kisses him on the cheek.)

Stranger: “Whoa. Why the h*** are you dating him when there are real men around? Whole men!” *to the Marine* “You’re stealing girls from the real men, a**hole!”

(We’re all furious, but my friend’s girlfriend puts up a hand to let us know she’ll handle it.)

My Friend’s Girlfriend: “Look, sweet pea. I may not be the biggest patriot in the room, but I will not let you talk to him like that. He’s been through enough in service to this country. You apologize and then get lost.”

Stranger: “The h*** I will! I deserve a woman. Why the h*** should he!”

My Friend’s Girlfriend: “Because who I choose to date is my decision. Your entitlement complex aside, I’m not going to leave him just because you can’t show some respect.”

Stranger: *gestures to my buddy’s leg* “But he’s not a real man! He can’t keep up with a woman like you or satisfy you!”

My Friend’s Girlfriend: “He’s more man than you’ll ever be. And furthermore, shame on you for having such a discriminatory attitude.”

Stranger: “But I deserve a woman more than this guy ever will! I’m better than him and I always will be!”

(The manager comes over and throws the guy out, and even gives us a discount on our meal beyond the normal military discount. A few days later, my friend tells me that part of the reason he’d been so sad was because he thought his girlfriend would leave him because of his injury. They’re now engaged.)