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    This Apple Fell Far From Its Tree

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

    (I am working at an elementary school for gifted children. We have a horseshoe shaped parking lot where parents picked up their kids. At the end of the day it’s my job to stand at the exit of the one way and direct people 10 feet to my right to the correct entrance. A woman coming to pick up her child tries to enter the wrong way. I step in front of her car. She steps on the gas and gets close enough to hit my bright orange flag that says “stop”.)

    Woman: “What the h*** are you doing? I need to pick up my daughter! Why aren’t you letting me pick up my daughter?”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a one way. You need to back out and go the correct way.”

    Woman: “You’re kidnapping my daughter! I’m going to call the police! Let me in to see my daughter!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I assure you, we are not keeping you from your daughter. All you need to do is back up and drive a few feet to the entrance. You are trying to go the wrong way down a one way.”

    Woman: “Well, how am I supposed to know which way is the right way?”

    Me: “Ma’am, even if I weren’t here to tell you, there’s a sign right behind me that says ‘Do Not Enter’.”

    Woman: “Well, I shouldn’t be expected to read street signs!”