Old man: “I hear there’s this stuff you can put on your food that won’t give you gas.”

Me: “Oh yeah… it’s called Beano. Put a couple of drops on your food and the enzymes in it prevent the food from giving you gas.”

Old man: “So, you have it?”

Me: “Yep. I’ll show you.”

(We walk over to the shelf where Beano is kept. I show him the little 3 or 4 oz. bottle; a little goes a long way with that stuff.)

Me: “This is it.”

Old man: “How much?”

Me: “$12.99.”

Old man: “For THAT little bottle? S***, I’ll just fart!”