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    Third Time’s A Charm For A Two-Faced One Track Mind

    , | Washington, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [phone company], how may I help you today?”

    Caller: “Um yeah, my phone stopped working. I need you guys to fix that for me.”

    Me: “Certainly, sir. May I ask what exactly is the problem?”

    Caller: “Well, the internet on my phone quit working a few days ago.”

    Me: “Okay, I can definitely help you out with that. I do need your mobile phone number please…”

    (The customer gives me his number, and I discover that his phone is not compatible with the internet plan on his account. Furthermore, he can not change it because the account is not in his name.)

    Me: “…okay, so you understand why we cannot change that, right?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I guess so. Thanks anyway, man.”

    Me: “Not a problem sir. Thank you very much for choosing [phone company]. You have a wonderful day, sir.”

    (This is where things get interesting. Instead of hanging up, I immediately hear the following…)

    Female voice: “Aw baby, what’s wrong?”

    Caller: “This f***ing douchebag wont fix my g**d*** phone! I’ve had this d***ed thing for three years, never had a problem with it, now this f*** wont help me out!”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir? You never actually hung up the phone. Might I suggest we do that now before anything else is said?”

    Caller: *brief pause* “… oh my God!I am so sorry! Oh my God sir, please don’t turn off my phone, PLEASE!”

    Me: “Not a problem. Just please remember to hang up the phone, okay?”

    (I wait for him to hang up a second time, but again, he doesn’t…)

    Caller: “I can’t believe that f***ing p***k stayed on the phone! What we he trying to do?! A**hole! I mean, can’t he freaking help a guy out?!”

    Female voice: *quietly* “I think you’re on speakerphone…”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir? You forgot to hang up again.”

    Caller: “S***! GIMME A BREAK!” *click*