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    Thinks He’s So Grape

    , | Norway | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work as a wine waiter in a business hotel, where we often have repeat guests. One such guest, who always has a problem with something, is tasting a bottle of wine I’ve just opened.)

    Guest: “This wine is bad. It’s corked, or oxidised, or something.”

    Me: “May I test it?”

    (I take the glass and smell the wine, knowing straight away that there’s no problem.)

    Me: “I don’t notice anything wrong here. If you insist, I can open a fresh bottle.”

    Guest: “Well, you obviously don’t know anything about wine or service. Of COURSE I want a fresh bottle.”

    Me: “Very well, sir.”

    (I take the bottle away, re-cork it, and wait a few seconds before returning to the table with a new glass. I open the bottle again as I arrive and I pour a little for him to taste.)

    Guest: “MUCH better. Can’t believe you thought there was nothing wrong with the last bottle. You obviously don’t deserve to be in charge of wine here.”