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    Think Unpoopy Thoughts

    | Cleveland, OH, USA |

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

    Customer: “We’re looking at the toilets. What does the ‘flush rating’ on the box mean?”

    Me: “That indicates the amount of flush power.”

    Customer: “But what is it measuring?”

    Me: “It’s just a general rating to give you an idea of the power of the flush on this model.”

    Customer: “And the picture of the basket of golf balls on the box?”

    Me: “This is just an illustration claiming this toilet can flush a full bucket of golf balls without clogging.”

    Customer: “I worked in an old building once, and whenever I would use the toilet there it would clog up.”

    (I smile blandly and pray she doesn’t continue.)

    Customer: “Maybe the golf ball toilet would be good then. I mean, if it can handle a whole basket of balls… right?

    (My smile wanes, and I hope she doesn’t start describing shape, color, consistency.)

    Customer: “Well, food for thought I guess. Oh, dear, I shouldn’t say ‘food’ when it comes to toilets!”