Thievers Can’t Be Choosers

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want to complain about these towels of yours. They’re really rough and scratchy.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir… Wait a second; are you calling from outside the hotel?”

(I double-check the incoming call info, and see that it’s coming in on our toll-free line.)

Caller: “Yeah, I’m at home.”

Me: “And you’re calling to complain about towels you took from the hotel?”

Caller: “Yeah, they suck. They’re not very soft.”

Me: “Well, I certainly apologize for that, sir. If you’ll give me your name and address, I’ll have Housekeeping send you some new ones.”

(Surprisingly, he actually gave me his info; not surprisingly, he called a couple of weeks later to complain about the bill we sent him for the towels.)

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