(I’m a cashier at a grocery store and a customer comes in to return an item.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I need to return these mushrooms.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, was there something wrong with them?”

Customer: “Yes, they’re a fungus!”

Me: “Oh, they have something growing on them?”

Customer: “No! They are a fungus. I’m not eating any fungus!”