They Stop Terrorists, Thwart Criminals, and Return Blenders
Customer: *on the phone* “My order number is [number].”
Me: “Okay, I’ve got your order up on my screen. How can I help you, sir?”
Customer: “You shipped me this product, and I did not order it.”
Me: “Are you [Customer] of [Street]?”
Customer: “Yes. I was on your website and I selected this product and hit the ‘Submit Order’ button, but I didn’t order it.”
Me: “When you hit ‘Submit Order’ and get an order number, and an email confirming your order, that means you have submitted an order.”
Customer: “But I haven’t paid for this product, so I didn’t order it.”
Me: “That’s because you selected the ‘Bill Me Later’ option.”
Customer: “Fine. Then guess what I’m going to do? I’m going to keep this product, and I’m never going to pay you for it. Sucker.”
Me: “That’s your choice, sir, but if you don’t either return the product we sent you or pay by the due date, your account will be sent to a collection agency for recovery.”
Customer: “I am calling the FBI to report you.”
Me: “For what, sir?”
Customer: “I’m going to tell them that you sent me a product that I didn’t pay for, and they’re going to shut you crooks down.”
Me: “So you’re going to call the FBI, and tell them that you ordered a product from us, and now you’re refusing to pay for it OR send it back.”
Customer: “Don’t you twist my words. I’m calling the FBI on YOU, not ME.”
Me: “That’s your choice, sir, but wouldn’t it be easier to just send the product back if you don’t want it?”
Customer: “I do want it. I’m just not paying for it. You’ve wasted enough of my time. I’m hanging up now and calling the FBI.” *hangs up*
(I checked his account later and saw that the guy paid his bill in full before it was even due. I guess things didn’t pan out with the FBI.)
This story is part of our Super-Dumb-Criminals roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
10 Hilarious Times Criminals Were So Stupid They Got Themselves Caught
Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?
