Customer: “Hey, are there any Indian attacks on this village?”

Me: *taken aback* “Um. No. No, there are not.”

Customer: “Well, what about the sign?”

Me: “What sign?”

Customer: “The sign that says ‘Watch Out For Ava-LAN-cheez’.”

(From his pronunciation, it’s clear what he’s actually referring to are Apaches, not avalanches.)

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Um, no…they never attack our small village anymore.”