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    They Have Incompatible Operating Systems

    | England, UK | Rude & Risque, Spouses & Partners, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I own a small computer store that specializes in repairs and does a large number of home and work visits to repair machines on site. I am a gay man. My partner is an employee, and we often go on call-outs together. This particular call-out is to a young woman’s home. She seems quite pleasant.)

    Me: “This seems straight forward enough, but it will take some time to complete. [Partner] will head back to the shop to get some parts whilst I work on that, if that’s all right?”

    Customer: “That’s fine, thanks.”

    (I continue working on the machine whilst my partner heads back. Whilst he’s gone the customer heads out of the room for a moment and comes back without her sweater on, and only the shirt beneath it. I don’t think anything of it.)

    Customer: “Can I get you a cup of tea or some biscuits?”

    Me: “That’d be great. Two sugars, thanks very much.”

    (She leaves for a couple of minutes and comes back with some tea and biscuits, now wearing only a tank top instead of the shirt. I’m getting a little suspicious.)

    Customer: “There you go. You don’t mind me watching you work, right?”

    Me: “Of course not. I prefer to have the owners with me. It avoids me getting accused of anything.”

    Customer: “Ah, you don’t have to worry about that, hun.”

    (She sits a little close for comfort whilst I work. I don’t say anything, but I can guess what’s going on here. A few more minutes pass before the phone rings and she leaves the room to answer it. Shortly, she returns wearing only a bra on her top half. I’m speechless.)

    Customer: “That was my husband. He said he won’t be home for some time, I’m afraid.”

    (Seconds later my partner walks in through the front door and straight into the room I’m working in and is also stood there speechless.)

    Me: “Uhh… Hey, love, did you get the parts?”

    (Even though he’s holding them, I want her to see I’m gay. He nods.)

    Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry. You’re gay?”

    (Silence for a moment.)

    Customer: “Even better.”

    Me: “I’m afraid we have to go now.”

    (I and my partner practically run out the door, leaving the computer case open but functional.)