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    These Aren’t The Bags I’m Looking For

    | England, UK | At The Checkout, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m working New Years Eve on the tills when three rather older women come into the store. After I serve them, the door alarm goes off right after they leave. My manager goes to investigate.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, ladies, but I’m going to need to check your bags and receipts in case you took something.”

    Woman #1: “No, we didn’t take anything. We swear!”

    Manager: “Well, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to come back into the store and your bags be searched.”

    Woman #1: “No, we haven’t stolen! Look!”

    (Suddenly, the women—all in their fifties at least—begin to lift up their long skirts and tops and pull down their bras a bit. Not finding anything, my manager lets them go and comes back into the store.)

    Manager: “Thank God I get to go home and get drunk soon. I need a stiff whiskey to get those images out of my head!”