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    There’s No Amounting For Taste

    (I work in an ice cream shop. Our chocolate shakes are made with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce, rather than chocolate ice cream.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Can I get a large chocolate shake?”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Make sure it’s not too heavy on the chocolate!”

    (I make the shake, using about half the usual amount of chocolate sauce, and hand it to the woman.)

    Customer: *doesn’t even taste the shake* “No, no, this is way too much chocolate! I needed EASY chocolate.”

    (I remake the shake, using only about a quarter of the usual amount. Again, I hand it to the customer, who glances at it without tasting it.)

    Customer: *condescendingly* “Are you even listening to me? I’m a diabetic. I can not have too much sugar! Is that really too much to ask?”

    (I make the shake a third time, this time adding no chocolate sauce whatsoever. I hand her the shake.)

    Customer: *tastes her chocolateless chocolate shake* “THERE, that’s perfect. Was that really so hard?!”

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