Patron: “Do you have a typewriter?”

Me: “No, sorry. We haven’t had one in a while, but I can show you how to use Word.”

Patron: “No, I need a typewriter. I want to put an address on an envelope.”

Me: “Well you can do that in—”

Patron: “I can’t believe you don’t have a typewriter. What kind of library doesn’t have a typewriter?! Where can I find one?”

Me: “I really don’t know. You could try [office supply store], I suppose.”

(The man leaves, grumbling. The next woman in line comes up.)

Patron #2: “I don’t suppose your computers can take floppies?”