(I was a naturalist on a semi-submersible vessel for a summer in Alaska. The passengers get to sit in the bottom section of the boat, six feet below the water line, looking out of large windows. Over the course of the summer, I got a couple of fun questions.)

Tourist 1: “Hey, where are all the tropical fish?”

Me: *blink* “Um, in the tropics, sir. This is Alaska.”

Tourist 2: “Are we going to see any bears?”

Me: *looking out the windows at fields of kelp and bored-looking rockfish* “Sorry, no. We haven’t been able to get them to use the scuba equipment without chewing through it yet.”