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    There… Are… Four… Pumps!

    | NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Top, Transportation

    (One of my regulars comes in.)

    Regular: “$20 on pump five.”

    Me: “We don’t have a pump five. We only have four pumps.”

    Regular: “Yes you do. I’m on the white car.”

    (I look out the window to see what pump she’s on, and I am surprised to see four white cars.)

    Me: “Which white car one is yours, ma’am?”

    Regular: “The white one!”

    Me: “Ma’am, all the cars on the pumps are white; what make is yours?”

    Regular: “THE WHITE ONE! Just put $20 on five so I can go!”

    Me: “We still don’t have a pump five, and I’m trying to find out what car is yours, seeing as no one else is in here to tell me what one isn’t theirs.”

    Regular: “It is your job to know exactly what car is mine! I have no reason to tell you what car is mine; just put my gas on pump five so I can get out of here.”

    Me: “Okay, fine, I will put $20 on pump five.”

    Regular: “Now was that so hard?”

    (The customer leaves, and I sit and wait for her to return to complain that her gas isn’t pumping. Seeing as I should know her car, and have explained that we don’t have a pump five, I don’t put the money in when she picks up the handle for pump four.)

    Regular: “Why isn’t my gas pumping on pump four?”

    Me: “I put it on pump five, like you asked.”

    Regular: “IT’S PUMP FOUR! GOD, LEARN MY CAR ALREADY!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I have over 100 regulars who come into this store. If I memorized every one of their cars, I wouldn’t have to room for anything else. Next time you are in, remember we don’t have a pump five, and we are not required to know what car you drive. I’m just here to take money and push buttons.”

    Regular: “Useless… just useless! I’m late for work because of you! My job is more important!”

    Me: “Oh goody! Where do you work?”

    Regular: “At [local fast food restaurant].”

    Me: “Well, okay then. If you hadn’t actually been fighting with me, and simply explained that you were on the back pump closest to the fence, you’d be on your way to your job. Have a nice day!”

    Regular: “I’m never shopping here again!”

    Me: “See you next week.”

    (I did.)