The Tougher They Are, The Carder They Fall

Customer: “I would like to return this dress. I don’t have my receipt, but I paid for it with a credit card.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I can take care of that.”

(After running her credit card and scanning the item to see if there is a matching transaction, nothing comes up.)

Me: “I’m sorry, looks like there’s nothing matching this item on this credit card. Did you maybe pay with a different one?”

Customer: “NO! I always pay with THIS credit card here. There’s no way it could be on anything else!”

Me: “Okay, maybe the cashier who did this made a mistake. Let me try a few things…”

(I run the card several times, trying to manually match it with one of the 28 different size combinations my store has.)

Me: “Yeah, I’m sorry. There’s nothing coming up on this card.”

Customer: “Well, then what do we do from here?”

Me: “Well, you can either exchange this item for the same thing in another size or color, or we can send you a merchandise credit by mail.”

Customer: “No! I paid for this item with THIS CARD! I’d like to see a manager!”

Me: “Absolutely…”

(I walkie my manager a few times. She finally comes over after five minutes.)

Manager: “Now, what’s the matter?”

Me: “I’m trying to return her dress. She doesn’t have her receipt. So, I tried to pull it up on her card, but nothing’s happening.”

Manager: “Did you try another credit card?”

Customer: “NO! It’s definitely on THIS CARD! It’s the only card I use here!”

Manager: “It’s not coming up on that card, though, so we have no proof of purchase. I’m not supposed to, but I can issue you a merchandise credit now, and if you find your receipt later, I can redeem it for cash.”

Customer: “No! I want that dress credited back to the card before my next bill!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that without a proof of purchase. I’m sorry, but that’s not worth losing my job over!”

Me: “Look, shot in the dark here—hail mary—we’ll just do this for the fun of it. Let’s just try one of your other credit cards. What do you have to lose?”

Customer: “FINE! If it was any card it would be this one, but I KNOW it wont work!”

(I run the card and scan the dress…)

Me: “Hey look, a match. Okay, $29.94 will be credited back to THIS card. Thanks for coming in. You have a GREAT night!”

(The customer pulls down her shades, looks down, and mumbles quickly.)

Customer: “I’m so sorry. Bye…”