Makes You Raise A Burnt Eyebrow

(A friend has asked me over to his house to help him with some repairs to his garden fence. An hour into it our conversation has begun to drift to a variety of subjects, including my friend’s ‘solution’ to clearing the rest of the debris from his garden.)

Friend: “Maybe I should just buy a can of petrol and set fire to it all. It’d be so quick and easy. One match and WHOOSH! All gone!”

Me: “Ah, ‘explosion’. From the original Latin for ‘Oh God! My eyebrows!’ I believe.”

(My friend stops in mid-stroke with his paintbrush, and his brow creases in confusion.)

Friend: “…really?”

Me: “No, [Friend], not really.”

(The scary part? My friend has a PhD in mechanical engineering, with which he is employed to design power stations for a living. Hopefully he never has to learn more about explosions!)