(I’ve had a migraine all day on the job at the grocery store. I am making a valiant effort to fake it just a little longer, when…)

Customer: “You look too happy.”

Me: “Well, I’m–”

Customer: “I can fix that.”

(The customer proceeds to pull out something from her purse and shine a very bright light in my eyes. I take several steps back in pain.)

Customer: “There! I told you we could fix that!”