Customer: “Hey there! Do you guys have any bamboo wood flooring?”

Customer’s Wife: “Not fake bamboo. Real bamboo.”

Me: “Not in stock, but we can easily special order some for you. Might I ask why you specifically need bamboo?”

Customer: “Well, you see, we had our basement finished a few years ago with oak floors, but since then it has flooded several times. We keep having to tear up the floor and put down new stuff.”

Customer’s Wife: “It’s very annoying.”

Customer: “Very. So we figured that if we had bamboo floors it would be able to soak up the water easily, or be reusable or something like that.”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “Do you know if bamboo can do that?”

Me: “Um…I’ve never thought much about it, but I think the bigger concern here is whatever’s causing your basement to consistently flood.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Something with the window wells. I just figured this would be a quick fix.”

Me: “Sir, you’re in the completely wrong department.”