Good Grief

(I am playing an MMORPG. My character’s avatar is quite colourful, with a rather flamboyant name, which is ironic since I am gay but not flamboyant in real life. I am running a single player quest when a guild of other characters come across mine. The in-game banter kicks in.)

Player #1: “Are you a queer?”

Me: “Why does that matter?”

Player #1: “Because you look like a f***ing queer. All that rainbow s*** on you.”

Me: “So what if I am?”

Player #2: “Oh, my God! He is a queer! Get off this game you homo! Go play My Little Pony!”

Me: *sarcastic* “Oh, my. How progressive.”

(Suddenly one of the players starts attacking my character. Being a seasoned player, I respond immediately with a rather powerful magic spell. I KO one character immediately, but there are still four left and they are all quite powerful in their own right. I am about to die myself, when another character, literally a knight in shining armour, runs into the scene and starts attacking the characters. He also manages to heal me and together we manage to fend off the homophobic guild.)

Heroic knight: “Hey there! I saw that they were grieving you, so I thought I would jump in and help.”

Me: “My hero! Lol. Thanks so much!”

Heroic knight: “I wonder what their problem was anyway?”

Me: “Just a bunch of homophobes.”

Heroic knight: “Death to all homophobes! Someone should invent that spell!”

(We chat in-game a little more and discover that we are both gay, the same age, and live in London! We have been dating for a few years, and people always gasp when I tell them we met when he saved me from being killed by a bunch of thugs.)