The Rage Of Chivalry

(I’m a male having lunch with my best female friend on my birthday. Our waitress comes over to give us the check. Before I can reach for my wallet, my friend has her card in her hand.)

My Friend: “Here you go.”

(My friend tries to give her card to the waitress, but she glares at me instead.)

Waitress: “Seriously dude, you’re gonna make your girlfriend pay for the meal? What kind of man are you?”

Me: “She’s not my girlfriend.”

Waitress: “Not if you make her pay she won’t be.”

My Friend: “Look: it’s his birthday, and it’s my treat. Now if you can run that, we will be on our way.”

Waitress: “I’m not gonna let you pay sweetheart.” *glares at me again* “Where’s your wallet at?”

Me: “I believe my friend made a very clear explanation of the situation. Now if you would just—”

Waitress: “I don’t wanna hear any more excuses! You are the man; you pay for the meal!”

My Friend: “Where’s a manager?”

Waitress: “He’s busy right now!”

(From behind her, a gentleman approaches.)

Gentleman: “Is everything alright?”

Waitress: “Back off! This isn’t your issue.”

Gentleman: “Well, I own this restaurant, so, yes, it is my issue. What’s going on? I heard screaming.”

(I explain the situation to the owner, and he fires the waitress on the spot. As she’s leaving the restaurant, she’s still screaming that I’m not a real man. Our meal was complimentary.)