Sizing You Up And Letting You Down

(I’m ten years old and looking at stickers for my scrapbook. I’m dressed in a tie-dye shirt, bright purple shorts, and light-up shoes. I’m tall for my age, but I’m quite obviously a child. A woman approaches me in the aisle.)

Woman: “Excuse me, miss, where are your knitting needles?”

Me: “Uh… I don’t know, I—”

Woman: “It’s a simple question, sugar. Where are your knitting needles?”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Woman: “Of course you do. You’re wearing a lanyard.”

(I look down at my Spice Girls lanyard that looks nothing like the bright red lanyards the employees wear.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m ten years old. I don’t work here.”

Woman: “So you can’t even fathom a guess as to where the knitting needles are?”

Me: “I guess by the sewing stuff?”

Woman: “Useless. Absolutely useless. A girl your size should be more intelligent.”

Me: “I’m taller than you.”

This story is part of our “I Don’t Work Here” roundup!

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