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  • The Produce Section Is Too Deep To Ford

    | Edmonton, Canada |

    (I was a customer observing this exchange.)

    Customer: *picks up an apple and takes a large bite out of it*

    Employee: “Sir, what are you doing?”

    Customer: “I’m sampling an apple to make sure it’s not mealy. The last apples I got here were all mealy.”

    Employee: “Er…it’s generally not a very good idea to do that…those aren’t washed.”

    Customer: *sets the apple back down* “YOU DON’T WASH THEM?! Don’t you know you can spread dysentery?!”

    Employee: “They’re washed before they come in here, but we can’t wash them on the shelf. And sir, you have to pay for that.”

    Customer: “F*** that! I’m not paying for something that’ll give me dysentery!”

    Employee: “We can’t sell an apple that has a HUGE BITE taken out of it!”

    Customer: *stomps off*

    Customer #2: *observing nearby “Someone should tell him, ‘You have died of dysentery.’”