The Price Was A Steal

(I’m watching the register for a coworker on his break. A young man enters the store and sets a paper bag on the counter.)

Customer: “I need to do a return.” *empties contents of bag onto the counter*

(I pick up the two gas fittings: one has a tag, the other is completely stripped and destroyed. I look at the receipt and the one with the tag isn’t on it.)

Me: “Sir, this fitting isn’t on this receipt. Did you have another receipt for it?”

Customer: “No. I don’t have a receipt for it because I didn’t pay for it.”

Me: *stunned* “Wh-what? Did… did you just take it then?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was going to pay for it and I realized I didn’t have enough money to buy it, so I just took it home. But it didn’t fit, either. So my buddy came out and fixed the problem for me and I don’t need it anymore. Sorry.”

Me: “Oh, um, well… okay. I’m just going to keep this one, then.”

(I take the stolen fitting and place it in the return box, but then I look at the other fitting.)

Me: “You really did a number on this one, though.”

Customer: “Yeah, it was the wrong thread, I think. I tried to twist it on but I ended up stripping it.”

Me: “Well, I can’t return this it since you destroyed it. It’s yours for life now.”

(I hand him back his receipt and the broken fitting.)

Customer: “Well, I thought I’d try anyway. Thank you.” *leaves*

(The next customer in line is just as stunned as I am. He sets his things on the counter and watches the young man leave.)

Customer: “Did he just return something he stole and apologized for it because it was the wrong size?”

(I nod.)

Customer: “Man, makes you wonder what he would have done if he actually stole the right part!”