The Biggest A**-Hole You Met Today

(I am studying to be a vet. I also work as a casual kennel hand in a vet clinic. The current consequences of both is that both of my arms are very bruised and one is badly scratched. On the day of this conversation, my practical class involved pregnancy testing cattle, which involves what the general public would consider distasteful. I am clean, but I have my dirty overalls with me on the train, and despite my efforts you can smell them slightly. A woman sits down next to me, and after about five minutes shuffles uncomfortably and pretends to cough, whilst leaning away from me. I ignore her. Also, I’m female.)

Passenger: “You know, you really should learn how to take a shower.”

Me: “Wait, are you talking to me?”

Passenger: “Who else would I be talking to?”

Me: “There’s an entire train crammed full of people; I presumed you knew someone.”

Passenger: “Well, you really need to take a shower. You stink.”

Me: “Um, well, I have showered, not that I should need to share my personal hygiene habits with you.”

Passenger: “You’re dressed all nicely, but you look like you’ve been fighting and you really smell. You’re never going to find a partner or a job or be successful in life if you don’t look after yourself and take pride in your appearance. You’re a woman. You should always look and smell good and behave like a lady.”

(I am now fed up at this point. Normally I avoid discussing what I do with people, because it usually grosses them out, and I also don’t like arguing. This was not one of those times.)

Me: “Well, I am happily single, and anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m not very ladylike. I’m a vet student. I’ve been sticking my hand up a cow’s backside for three hours. So, maybe society doesn’t approve, but you can be sure that it will make me a successful vet.”

(From this point on I ignored her entirely. She very quietly got off at the next stop. No one bothered me after that.)