(I am a phlebotomist and go around drawing blood at the hospital all day. I am drawing blood on the rehab floor where patients are generally doing well. I start to draw one patient’s blood when his wife runs into the room.)

Patient’s wife: “Oh my God! What are you doing?!”

Me: “I’m from the lab and I’m just getting some blood.”

Patient’s wife: “What?! Why?! What is wrong with my husband?!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is all pretty routine blood work.”

(Hearing the commotion, the nurse runs in.)

Nurse: “Ma’am, the insurance company asked we get this blood work since it has been awhile. I assure you nothing is wrong.”

Patient’s wife: “No, you’re lying! My husband is dying and no one will tell me why!”

(Suddenly, the patient himself speaks up.)

Patient, to wife: “D*** it! Sometimes I wish you were dying!”

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic