(Note: I’m an unpaid museum volunteer with a vest that obviously says volunteer. A well-dressed patron approaches me.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how are you?”

Patron: “I need to speak to the President, please.”

Me: “Are you talking about the Vice Presidents or just the President?”

Patron: “You know d*** well who I’m talking about, now get me to him! I’m the one who controls YOUR paycheck!”

Me: “I’m a volunteer, sir.”

Patron: “Oh…” *walks away*