The Nineties Called…

(I work next to the electronics department. I am in the area when two customers walk up to an electronics associate.)

Customer: “Do you sell any VHS?”

Associate: “No, ma’am. We sell dvd players, though.”

Customer: “What’s DVD?”

(Associate proceeds to explain DVDs, still remaining very professional.)

Customer: “But you don’t have any VHS?! I find that hard to believe! Couldn’t you check the back room in case you have one lying around?”

Associate: “Ma’am, we haven’t sold VHS in years.”

Customer: “So you can’t check?”

Associate: “We don’t carry any VHS products anymore.”

Customer: “UNBELIEVABLE! How do you not carry VHS?! You’re gonna lose customers like that.”

(There is awkward silence. I’m a few feet away trying really hard not to laugh. But it’s not over yet.)

Customer: “What about [Brand Name]s? Do you have portable cassette [Brand Name]s?”

Associate: “We don’t have any cassette products anymore either.”

(The customer is genuinely bewildered at this point. She eventually decides to purchase a dvd player.)

Associate: “… And how will you be paying today?”

(The customer hands over a credit card.)

Associate: “Ma’am, this card is expired. In fact the card expired in the early 2000s.”

Customer: “WHAT?! No wonder you guys are going out of business. Can’t even take my payment!”