Chili Out Before Bed Time

(My boyfriend is cutting some jalapeno peppers for the chili he is making for work. I am in his living room.)

Boyfriend: “I feel really hot, but I can’t tell if it’s just warm in here or if it’s from the peppers. The directions said to use gloves, but I’m not.”

Me: “You are so washing your hands several times before any kind of sex is happening.”