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    The Mother Of All Excuses

    | Boise, ID, USA |

    Caller: *crying* “I need an emergency credit on my account! My mom’s been in a car wreck and I can’t call the hospital because I don’t have any time on my phone.”

    Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that your mom’s been in an accident. Let me look at your account to see if we can put a one time courtesy credit on there.”

    (I see that there have been $30 in credits given over the last month. I also notice her mother has been missing, dying, dead, beat up by a drunk boyfriend, stabbed, shot, and taken to the hospital because of a drug overdose. And now, she has been injured in a car wreck.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t put the credit on your account. You’ve received several courtesy credits in the past, and as per corporate policy we’re not allowed to give you any more.”

    Caller: “But my mom’s in the hospital! She might die!”

    Me: “I know how this kind of situation can be really rough on someone. Maybe a friend of yours will let you use their phone?”

    Caller:“So you’re not going to put any money on my account?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but your account is not eligible for any further credits.”

    Caller: “F*** you, b****!” *hangs up*