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    The Lesser Of Two Buttocks

    | Saint Clair Shores, MI, USA |

    Caller: “I’m finding out that hamsters like to move around a lot. Do you have a pet that doesn’t move as much?”

    Me: “What seems to be the problem with the hamsters?”

    Caller: “Well, I don’t like it when they move suddenly. It scares me. And I don’t like their rears.”

    Me: “Their…rears?”

    Customer: “Yes, their rears! I don’t like it when they don’t face me. Do you have a pet that doesn’t move as much?”

    Me: “Well, we have tarantulas… they mostly just sit there and move slowly and rarely.”

    Caller: “What’s a tarantula?”

    Me: “It’s kind of a big hairy spider.”

    (Suddenly, it sounds as if the phone has hit the ground. A few moments later…)

    Customer: “I think I’ll stick with hamsters.”