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    The Less They Know, The Better

    | Ontario, Canada, USA |

    (The customer decides to buy two children’s face towels, one for each child. They are $3.50 each, but you can get three for $7.00.)

    Me: “Just so you know, you can get three towels for $7.”

    Customer: “No thanks.”

    Me: “You are paying $7 anyway, since they’re $3.50 each…”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “Essentially, if you buy two, you get a third one free!”

    Customer: “Free?”

    Me: “Yeah, one for yourself!”

    Customer: “I don’t want one!”

    Me: “Well, it’s an extra one for the kids, or you can give it away, or give it to me.” *I laugh lightly*

    Customer: “If I get three, I’ll have to get a fourth, or the kids will fight.”

    Me: “Ah, you can get a fourth one for only $2.33, because you get the discount if you buy three or more.”

    Customer: “But you said the third one is free!”

    Me: “It’s essentially free. When you get three or more, you’re actually paying $2.33 for each one, instead of $3.50. It works out the same.”

    Customer: “So I’m paying for it, even though it’s free?”

    Me: “The deal is actually three for $7, seven divided by three is $2.33; you end up paying only $2.33 for each one instead of $3.50.”

    Customer: “Whoa, so the first two are $3.50, the third one is free, and the fourth one is $2.33?”

    Me: “You could look at it that way, I guess…”

    Customer: “You guys have confusing prices, I’m getting a headache!”

    (The customer asks the kids if they want another one. They get excited and pick out two more. I scan them. Each one shows up at $3.50 each, but the computer discounts them automatically at the end).

    Customer: “Hey, they all scanned at $3.50!”

    Me: “Don’t worry, the discount is applied at the end.”

    Customer: “You’re trying to rip me off!”

    Me: “I’m not, see your subto–”

    Customer: “I’m never coming here again!”

    (The customer grabs the children, who start crying because they really wanted the face towels.)