The Lamp Isn’t The Only Thing That Needs Rewiring

(A tweaker-looking kid comes up to my cash register holding an old lamp that clearly needs professional rewiring. I am no electrician; I’m merely a cashier.)

Customer: “Do you sell a cord that plugs into this to make it work?”

(I look closely at the lamp.)

Me: “I see that it has no place to plug any modern cord. You will need to speak with someone in the electrical department for help with rewiring it.”

Customer: *bursts into a sing-song yell* “I wish you knew how to do your d*** job!”

(He then runs off in circles, drops some merchandise and heads for the exit.)

Customer: “Kiss my royal f***ing a**!”

Me: “Just leave. Go away. Don’t come back again!”

(The boy continues swearing and flipping the bird. He has to be escorted out. My manager approaches me.)

Manager: “Is it a full moon?”

(Later on, a coworker from the electrical department comes up to the manager.)

Coworker: “Did you see a dirty guy with a brass lamp? He just hit me and called me a monkey while I was with a customer!”